I always wanted to be a soldier

good; don't cry

I always wanted to be a soldier. To prove I was good enough, strong enough to be a boy. (I guess in my mind, strength and good are virtually the same thing).

I guess it’s not just in my mind.

“I’m as good as a boy”

I wanted to love video games, I wanted to get into fights, and climb trees, and be impish. 

(This probably stemmed from my early idolization of S. E. Hinton and her books)

People always like you better when you aren’t trying so hard to get them to like you. 

(am I trying too hard?)

I’m so sorry my own self-esteem doesn’t match my outward appearance (22).

Rain boots.

“I was talking to my wife about it. That’s just one of those things I’m going to remember forever.”

Why do I even have friends.

You write pretty words (heavy boots), but you don’t stand behind them.

Amusing how?

Intimacy is uncomfortable. (always?)

I’m sorry I’m sorry and I’m all done apologizing.

                         ~                                                                         ~                                                                     ~

I took the pictures off the wall the other day. Part of me wants to burn them, but I need to hold on to them, because that’s all I’ve got left. (who would have thought you two would be the hardest people I would have to lose? Who looked at me when I was three and thought ‘when she’s 18, she’ll have broken up with two important people in her life, and neither of them will have been boyfriends’. That’s certainly not the type of analysis me and the friend make)

Who would have thought my Chandler moment would come with you.

(4th stage, almost out of sweatpants)

Seeing people you love. Ones who know you and still don’t hate you. It’s like the comfort of stepping into the hot shower. (I love you I love you)

So god damn fucking good, and I think there’s something wrong with me (Sarah Marshall)

Did you know it’s weird, now I’ve become you.

That’s the pattern of the story I suppose (polarize)

I should know better than anyone how that goes.

(I hope to end up somewhere in the middle)

The island of misfit toys (I’m so excited it fucking hurts)

(weak weak weak... but oh so soothing to just let go)

sighs

Wanted: A female friend I can trust.